Okay. Well, it’s been a bit since my last post. Life has been pretty wild lately. This blog post will be everything but neat. Here is what’s going on with me these days!
Derek is in LA for 3 months (all summer). Before he left for home, we spent all of our time together. His family was visiting as well and we kept ourselves quite busy, it felt like we were both on vacation too.
We had a blast to say the least. Now, Derek is gone, I miss him a ton but I am taking this time to really focus on myself. Since he’s been gone, I’ve realized even more so what a rock he is, in supporting me in everything that I do. Not only does he make the bed and coffee every morning (hehe), but he also attends all of my classes, supports my teaching, and my dreams. I have never felt more myself, more beautiful, more challenged, and more loved. As I figure out where I am headed, I am so thankful that I have him as my mirror (even if from a distance) to look at and keep me real, grounded, connected, and practical.
The last few weeks have been a whirlwind. I left my job at the Cancer Center and I am currently teaching yoga full-time and doing wellness visits; I turned 27 (how in the WORLD did that happen?), Derek left for California, and I am faced with many real, hard, and practical life decisions…basically, I have to grow up.
I have to get real about the direction I am heading in life, which is an exciting one, I know that much – but rather than flow through in typical yogi way, I have to plan. I still set goals and write down my dreams, but I need to plan just how I am going to end up to where I want to go. This has resulted in me being even more obsessive with my planner (aka “homework assignment notebook,” as I refer to it). Meanwhile, I’ve been teaching so much yoga (17 classes this week + 1 wellness visit + coaching teacher training). Which is absolutely amazing (I will get there). Hopefully, I will adjust quickly to the life of a full-time yoga instructor.
While, I am trying to fit in as much career planning as I can, I am trying my very best to stay inspired with my yoga practice, teaching, and life. Life inspiration for me, means that in addition to practicing, I must go to the beach, hike, read, and spend time with people I love (but it’s for my job, I promise). But the truth is, I can't fit it all in! It hit me the other morning when I woke up, that my “to-do-list,” was complete with everything I love to do. One of the many joys of life these days is that – I never want to miss a single day of work. I love my job, I love working with and helping people; all of my students inspire me to be the best version of myself. Furthermore, I work with a group of teachers that are absolutely amazing.
And...What's the Problem?
However, with all of these wonderful shifts and changes and the beautiful ebb and flow of life, it has left me feeling a little less than centered. While I was working full-time at the Cancer Center, I made it an absolute priority to practice yoga #everydamnday (yep!); Now, I’ve noticed, my practices are a little bit shorter, I am snacking and grabbing quick bites to eat in between classes, and I have had less time to write. I know I need my rest, green juices, sweat sessions, mediation, time in the mountains and in the ocean to feel really, truly, centered. Derek knows best what I am like when I go a few days without practicing (don’t mess). Suddenly, rather than hold my own space strongly, I see a funny smirk on a person and think, ‘oh gosh- I hope they are okay, was it something I did or said? Okay, I better take this issue on and work it out.’
And I didn’t quite realize that I was doing this, until I came across this beautiful Marianne Williamson quote.
“What's difficult in life is to stay centered when somebody says or does something that tempts us to close our hearts because their heart was closed. That is hard. But that is also how we grow. We go through those circumstances in order to evolve into people who can hold our loving center no matter what the world throws us.”
- Marianne Williamson
I read this quote today and it hit home. It really struck me. While, my energy levels are perhaps depleted, and I am not feeling fully centered, I need to practice staying strong and holding my own space, regardless of what is going on in life.
If someone is having a bad day, and they treat you in a way that leaves you feeling bad…let. it. go. It is not, I repeat, not, your problem to take on. I needed this amazing reminder today. For my 6 am class this morning, I did a lot of core work (always) and heart openers. I shifted my perspective for the entire day, I feel open. I have been practicing moving through today with a loving intention and more compassion. I have been less reactive and definitely more open.
You never know what someone else is going through. Rather than make their story (issue) about you, take a step back, and be a little bit more open and loving; find some compassion knowing that they have something to work through.
Be ready to listen.